When it Rains it Pours, The Blessing of Bearing Children

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Anyone who knows me knows how much I want a big family. Nathaniel and I usually say we want about 7 kids and people usually give us this crazy look as a response. Well anyone who knew me 5 years ago would say I didn't want any kids and that's because, well, I didn't. It is always interesting when someone asks me what changed because I never know how to answer it in one short sentence. So I am going to write this blog and share how when I asked God for 1 simple thing, He let it rain.

Nathaniel and I got engaged in 2011 and up until then I never wanted children. Even after being engaged to the man of my dreams I thought 1 or 2 would be enough and that was still a little scary. Now I am not some anti children grumpy girl, I had my reasons for not wanting to be a mama. Yes they are cute and yes they can be fun but they are also your full responsibility. To me that meant an opportunity to ruin some innocent people that God trusted in my care. Weird, I know but so true. I had this false idea that I would somehow rub off everything bad about myself onto my offspring and then be forever ashamed of my failure. My gracious fiancĂ© often told me how wonderful of a mother I would be and God would change my heart as He saw fit. I knew that God was greater than my fears but I wasn't sure how that feeling could ever go away. 

One day I was bored and was looking at wedding stuff on the Internet and somehow baby stuff kept coming up. I figured it would be a good time for me to pray and start seeking God about my lack of a desire to bear children. My wedding was a few short months away and I knew I wanted this issue to be resolved in my heart. I remember asking God to show me if I was meant to mother children and remind me that He was capable of making it a good thing. I prayed that God would give me a desire to not just carry children in my womb but carry them through life with prayer, grace, love, and encouragement. I started writing in my journal the name Noah and what He did for God. I then wrote that God would bring Nathaniel and myself together to raise up a generation of Richardson men who would serve Him. We would have a first born son and name him Noah because he would reset the path of then men in our families from crooked to straight. I closed my journal, really confused, and asked God to do a work in my heart. Guess what, He did just that.

Nathaniel and I got married June 3, 2012 and we decided to trust God with my womb. I remember being scared of this idea but prayed to God to give us 1 year together to find our identity as a couple before bringing us a child. That whole first year of marriage we grew so much in Christ and it seriously felt like we were on a year long honeymoon. We never fought, we traveled Europe, and dove so deep into the Word of God. It was perfect. Our 1 year anniversary was a sweet day as I remembered what I had asked God for, a whole year of oneness with my man. He gave us that because I found out I was pregnant 3 weeks later. A few months later we found out it was a boy, a first born son, and we named him Noah. 

Noah is now 16months old and I am currently carrying our second son, who has yet to be named. It's a lot harder naming a second boy than I thought. I could not be more excited to be growing another little baby in my belly and my husband is 10 times happier. Someone recently told someone who was having a bad week, "When it rains it pours." I'd say I have to agree but not always in a bad way. I asked God to pour into me a desire to bear children and He surely let it rain and pour. So journey on with us as we answer the call we firmly believe God has given us, building a tribe of Godly children. It is not only my honor but it is my passion to bear children. To raise them with intention alongside their father. It is our passion to thrive as parents in a culture that so demeans the beauty of raising multiple children. We will do so with joy, grace, and love only as we receive it from God Himself. I am confident of this not because of our own ability, but because of a God who is so able and so willing. Here's to my becoming, becoming a woman who is fearlessly multiplying as God sees fit. 

"Moreover I will give to you a new heart and put a new Spirit within you; and I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 36:26

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