The Beautiful Gift of Mothers

Friday, May 8, 2015

As I sit here looking at the computer screen I am full of emotions. Most of them good, some of them overwhelming, and even some a little sad. Overall I feel a flood of gratitude filling up my heart when I think about the word mother. 
I was never the girl to daydream about being a mother. When my cousin and I played dolls she was always the mother of 10 babies and I was the aunt. This was my idea of loving children even from a young age, loving them from a distance. When I became a teenager I was even more passionate about the idea of not having kids. It didn't bring me joy to see babies and I hated when moms offered me to hold their baby. I knew I'd love my nieces and nephews very much but they had a return label and in all my selfishness that seemed perfect.
One day, a while after coming to know Jesus, I started working at the Boys & Girls Club in my city. In a matter of days these children stole my heart. There was something about their need for my presence that made me eager to return every week. The smiles they had when I'd walk into the room and the laughs they shared when we played outside made my heart seem to be full. Even in the moments I had to bring correction they still wanted my love and approval. I thought this love I was experiencing was just from doing a good deed but I soon realized this was the love and heart of a mother. These children didn't have to grow inside of me for me to have an unconditional love for them, they just had to be children in need of love. This has been a continuous love of mine since then, loving the motherless. God gave me a heart for it but someone specific taught me this kind of love. 
When I was 6 years old I was introduced to my stepmother. When I was 9 I moved in with her and my dad for the long run and I loved her so much. Although my mom was gone for a few years now I still believed she would come back soon and therefore I didn't need my step mom to be anything more than a step mom. She was welcome to step in for the time being but not step too close for too long. As the years went on we grew closer and like any other teenage mother daughter relationship we had our fair share of downs. Now I am an adult with kiddos of my own and she is one of my closest friends. I look back on the moments I shared with her and the love I received from her and I stand in awe. She loved me, with no conditions, with no restraint, she just loved me. I have never witnessed her separate me from her biological children in word or in deed. She saw me at 6 years old and loved me from that moment on as if she gave birth to me herself. She could never tell me my first words, when I walked, when I learned to use the potty but she still saw me as hers. When I needed something I went to her. If ever I was in a mess I'd call her first. Just like a mother and daughter we had a season of not seeing eye to eye and kept our distance. Just like a mother and daughter we reconciled and grew closer and stronger. This is the heart of a mother and from her I learned to love as a mother should, with no conditions.
In 2014 God blessed me with the gift I never truly desired, a sweet child of my own. This November I will receive that incredible gift yet again. My greatest hope now is to birth and mother many children. Every single day with my son is a gift that I literally praise God for constantly. Sometimes it is tiring and yet I still look forward to it. Some days it is not so fun but it is still my favorite hobby. It is more beautiful when I think of the need for me Noah has and the void cannot be filled by anyone else. God giving me the grace to be able to carry children in my womb, birth them, and then watch them grow will be the most incredible experience He gives to me. I want to be there for them when it is hard and when it is easy. I want to love them in the good and the bad. I want to lead them, feed them, and wash their little feet each night before bed. Most importantly I want to love them with no conditions, welcome them with warmth, and never lose sight of the name God gave me through them, mother. My heart was full, Noah made it overflow, and my future children will add to that abundance of love. 
God adopted me into His family and loves me with no conditions, my step mom loves me as her own and never fails to be the mother I need. This is a beautiful picture of God showing us we must love the motherless. Some women may never grow a baby in their belly but that doesn't mean you will never be a mother. Just as we received an abundance of love we should have an abundance of love to give. So many children need the love of a mother and so many women need children to love. God, in all of His grace, makes a way for that to happen. Whether you birth the child, adopt them, or just  take them under your wing, you are mothering them. 
Mothers make the world go round! Thank you God for giving me what I never thought I wanted. The gift of being a mother. Happy Mother's Day to the beautiful mamas around the world, with biological children or not. You are a true gift.

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