Beauty and Balance

Wednesday, March 25, 2015


I have struggled for a long time trying to find a balance with outer beauty. There are many things that come to mind when trying to figure out what is vanity and what is ok. I am obviously a woman who is into fashion, hair, and makeup but somewhere along this pursuit to be a genuine woman who loves God I was told that is not ok. Almost as if to be a Proverbs 31 woman all natural all the time is the only option. When I think of the times I feel the most beautiful, it isn't always because I have a really great hair day and my makeup is perfect. But I would be lying to say that those things don't make me feel beautiful because they really do. And I am learning that is quite alright.

Growing up in a culture that over exaggerates the importance of outward appearance I have always been enticed to look better, dress nicer, get thinner. So much effort, time, and money went into the way I looked and never made me feel like the prettiest girl in the world. It felt like I was chasing the wind and so I dove into a mindset that completely over exaggerated the idea that outward appearance didn't matter at all. I could wear sweats and old tees with no makeup and messy hair everyday and it wouldn't matter because I was beautiful on the inside. Now that's a nice thought, but let's get real, my husband has eyes and they work very well. There has to be a balance but what in the world is it!
I have struggled so much with not being satisfied with my looks, like my entire life. Which one of us ladies can honestly say we never have? Probably none of us! Why is that? Comparison. Now for me personally I have not ever really struggled with comparing myself to other women. I believe I have a genuine love for seeing other women be confident and feel beautiful. I do absolutely struggle with comparing myself to what I once was. Having a metabolic disorder causes me to have no control over my weight. No matter how much I love whole foods and working out I gain weight like a madman and I probably always will be a bigger girl. It becomes hard for me to see pictures of myself a few years back and wish I could look like that. So then outward beauty becomes my main focus and I start to think how much more hair or makeup I can add to just look a little better. It consumes me and always leads to disappointment and that is just vain. So I am learning to embrace the "now" me. I have grown to love dressing this body, this body that now has a son and a husband.
Now that it's clear I don't believe beauty is everything and I don't advocate for vanity let's just be real about something, women should be set apart from men. We are women and we should be feminine. We should embrace the fact that men get dressed up and we get dolled up. It is a good thing. My husband doesn't mind coming home to a wife in workout clothes and a messy fro. He definitely loves coming home to a wife with fresh brushed hair and some nice girly clothes. It shows him that I am doing alright. When he sees me dolled up, he gets reassurance that I have been having a good day. No matter how much we deny it, our physical appearance speaks first and it speaks of what we think of ourselves. If I am constantly in baggy clothes and just looking messy I am sending a message saying I just don't care, not even for my husband's needs. The occasional lazy days are good and they show a certain level of confidence.  I am a woman who genuinely cares about my physical appearance because I genuinely care about my presentation. I want to present myself as the woman I am inwardly, confident and strong and put together. When I feel good about myself it always makes me feel even better when I am looking good.

Although I may not be 19 year old thinner me I am still going to feel beautiful.
A little makeup and a super cute outfit just make me feel pretty, and that is just fine. God doesn't pretend beauty doesn't matter. There are many times the bible refers to specific woman and even men as attractive. Beauty is a good thing and if I want some mascara, lipstick, and a super cute outfit to feel more beautiful that is just fine. I am a woman and I want to look like one. Getting up and putting on my face, whipping out the curling iron, and wearing a super stylish outfit makes me feel ready to have a good day. Even as a stay at home mama I can look my best. Hey this is my job so why not get ready for it! 
. Be beautifully you inside and out. Embrace your femininity and love the option to add a little something more sometimes. Ladies it is wonderful to be a lady, and pearls and pink lips are just a great incentive.

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