The Evolution of a Stay at Home Me

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

This picture. What a picture. I am sure this stirs different emotions for different women and for me it brings joy. This picture reminds me to celebrate God's intentions for women although I live in a society and culture that belittles it. Now before I get a bunch of emails about this being sexist or old fashioned let me say a couple of things. First off, this post is to encourage women like me who have been made to feel inadequate and like we have fallen short. Second, this is my evolution and it has been good.  Now let me tell you how I went from being the person that hated this idea for women to a woman living it.
I grew up in a family that was pro college and career. I was sure that breastfeeding stay at home moms were lazy and didn't contribute to their families. I also thought they just spent their husband's money and went to coffee dates with their mommy friends. I was convinced I'd go to college and maybe get married in my 30's and most likely not have children, maybe one, but that's it. So you'd understand when I run into an old friend from high school how shocked and confused they are. When I first realized God was amazing and He ravished my heart I kind of struggled with some of the things the bible says about women. All through the old and new testament it speaks of these women working in their homes, baring children, submitting to their husband, etc. Um no thank you! Oh and this whole topic of modesty, pshh yea right I am not a Duggar! These were the thoughts and emotions I had towards the Proverbs 31 woman idea and it wasn't until getting engaged to this wonderful man that my desires began to change. 
When Nathaniel and I first got engaged I imagined a life as his wife and all the things that would come from it. I fell in love with the idea of giving him children and having hot meals on the table when he got off work. I even started being aware of the way I dressed because I wanted to only have his eyes laid upon me. Now these things kind of scared me because I thought I was secretly becoming Amish or something. Yea I know I was a silly 19 year old but I really was nervous about these new found desires and convictions. Then we got married and oh boy did the Lord do a work in my heart.
Once I moved to Germany and became a wife I discovered the beauty of serving my husband. Yea that's right, it is beautiful. Although I worked a part time job, I still managed to have dinner made each night and a clean house to go with it. The joy my husband had in my work brought me pure satisfaction. It was surprising to me that what I once looked down upon was now bringing me so much joy. I started to understand the way this thing worked and that God was very strategic about His plan for marriage. Nathaniel had the serious job and the long hours and I had the free time that could be used in the home. Hmm makes sense and works perfectly. My ministry to my husband was the service and his to me was the comfort and security in our lifestyle. I always knew we would have groceries and he always knew they'd be cooked. Perfect balance. 
One year into our marriage we found out that little Mr. Noah was growing inside of me. Initially I was worried about not working again because I knew we would not choose to put our child in daycare. I thought of how boring my life would become and how all that I had to offer the work place would now go to waste. Anyone who knows mw knows I am a busy body with an idea for everything. Noah was born and I stay home and love every second of it. I get to pour into my son and lay my life down for him.  God allows me to have outlets for all of my talents and hobbies. I do a lot more than stay home all day like I imagine stay at home moms did. I blog, I'm writing a book, I mentor girls, I lead a bible study, and yes I go to a mommy group. I get to see first hand that women who stay home with their children are contributing a great deal to their family and others. I have the time to pour into the church and my friends who may be going through things. I have the energy to keep my home in one piece and look pretty for my man at the end of the day. I get joy from watching every milestone my son has and also taking my husband's boots off at the end of his work day. This is a good thing and it was God's intention for me.
Now remember, I am not saying that every woman must work in the home and have a bunch of babies. But I am saying to those of us who live this way, we are doing an incredible thing. To all the people who have told us we should work, we do work and very hard. To all the people who ask what we do all day, we do it all and then a little bit more. To those who think we take advantage of our hard working husbands, just ask them how much they love being served by us. To the girl who looks forward to being a wife and mom one day with no intentions of having a career, good for you because this is the best job in the world. This is my evolution and it is so good.

Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
    and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
    and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
    and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
    her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
    but you’ve outclassed them all!”
Proverbs 31:22-29


  1. I stand in awe of your love for The Lord and your hunger and obedience. Keep following that narrow path that leads to His truth and ways. I love you girl and am very proud and blessed by you.

    1. Thank you so much for those words! Love you!