A Letter to My 1 Year Old Son

Monday, February 9, 2015

Dear Lil Mr. Noah,

One year ago today at 10:36a.m. we laid eyes on you for the first time. Your father and I could not believe you were ours. I remember seeing all your straight black hair and your long fingers and just praising God for how perfect you were. The doctors had to take you away because you weren't breathing well on your own and the overwhelming feeling of worry rushed into my heart and my mind. This worry  made me realize I was really a mother, your mother. Once you had enough oxygen I was able to hold you and look at those beautiful brown eyes that would fill me with joy every single day to come. I needed that joy at that very moment because you were born shortly after your great grandpa Gary passed away and a couple weeks before your abuela Lucy. They were so dear to my heart and loosing them shattered it. Matthew means gift of God and that is exactly what you were at that time, a much needed gift. Your birth felt like a reminder from God that He doesn't forget us. You were the beauty in the midst of ashes and the joy given for my mourning. 
When we brought you home from the hospital I felt like I was living a fairytale. My pregnancy was perfect, my labor was long but no complications, and you had not even cried once yet. I just knew you were the perfect addition to our family. Those first few weeks were pretty hard on mama because the lack of good sleep but looking back I can't really complain. You always slept well for us but you loved to be nursed, always. I was grateful I was able to nurse you because I felt like it gave us a special bond. I was so clueless on how to mother you that I didn't even leave the house the 1st month or so of your life. I thought I would do something wrong or forget something at the house. I soon realized you were the easiest baby alive and I didn't have to worry about taking you anywhere. The only thing I had to worry about was hearing how gorgeous you are ever 10 seconds!
You quickly became a super fun baby. You did everything earlier than the normal and I think your father and I know that you'll be a very active child. We are grateful you are so active and I promise to always embrace this characteristic God has given you. It is easy to want to take a million pictures and videos of you because of that fun little personality. Once you started smiling you never stopped. I remember the first time you looked at me and smiled because it was so significant. You were laying on the bed and I just got out of the shower. I was sad because I was looking at all the many stretch marks I now had when I looked over at you and you had the biggest smile on your face as you were looking straight into mine. I was overwhelmed because for the first time I felt that you loved me and still till this day you  look at me with that same loving smile. 
At just a few months you started scooting and by 4.5 months you were sitting up on your own. Everyone who saw you was amazed at how strong and advanced you were for your age. We also received countless compliments on how handsome you were and you scored a modeling job at 8 months old! You always knew how to make everyone melt with your sweet smile and big brown eyes. I have a feeling those are gonna bail you out often especially with mama. Just yesterday I had a hard time shopping because too many people kept coming up to me commenting on how handsome and sweet you are. I will definitely be taking kick boxing to fight off little girls everywhere when you're older. 
Since becoming mobile you have  never slowed down. Everyday we are chasing you around, picking you up from some crazy fall you just had, and often wiping blood from that precious face that can't seem to stay safe. It is so much fun seeing how daring and adventurous you are. You are so much like your father and he is your favorite person to be with. As soon as he walks through the door your face lights up and you don't leave his side until bedtime. He is the only person you have this type of love for and it makes my heart full. I have always hoped to marry a man that I would want my sons t be like and my prayer for you is that you are just like my man, your father. You love music so much it is hilarious. Every time music comes on you stop what you're doing to sing and dance. I think you get that from me and your papa Hoody because we love to sing and dance. If there is an instrument around you can play with it for hours. Maybe you'll be a musician one day son. You also love when I sing to you and I always know how to make you happy just by singing "Noah Baby". I hope you find this joy in my voice always. Even when it is bringing correction.
This last year I have become and entirely new woman. I have been challenged and stretched in every way possible. I have learned to be selfless and a servant. Putting your needs and desires before mine has been so much more satisfying than I could ever have imagined. When I found out I was pregnant with you I feared that I would fail you as a mother. I thought I wouldn't know how to care for you and I would be too selfish. To my surprise being your mother has been the easiest job I have taken on aside from being your father's wife. It has been so easy to love and care for you Noah Matthew. There have been few days that I have had any complaints because you've made this so easy and fun for me. I could not even fix my lips to try and explain to you what being your mother has done for me. I can say that I am a better wife, friend, daughter, sister, and woman because of you. I have experienced the fullness of love this last year because loving you has made me realize what God's love for us is like.
 More than anything we will protect you to the best of our abilities my sweet son.We live in an ugly world and many ugly things will be introduced to you. You will encounter people who treat you wrong, friends and even family who betray you. You will fail sometimes and feel like you can't recover. There will be times you feel like you suffer lack and times you feel nothing is going your way. You will even be angry with your father and I when you don't understand our ways. I won't sugarcoat this life by saying it will be easy. But I can promise you God will always satisfy your soul, even when everything seems to be going wrong.
With that being said I must say that there are so many things I want for you in this life son. I want to see you succeed at everything you pursue. I want to see you honor your father and I. I want to see you serve others and love people more than you love yourself. I want to give you all of your hearts desires and push you to reach all your dreams. But most importantly I want to see you choose Christ one day. I know after that I will never have to worry about you. I know you will face various trials in this life and like I said, Christ will always satisfy.
Noah Matthew Richardson I love you. Thank you for what you have done for your father and I. You will never understand why I am so thankful but I will live expressing that love and gratitude. I am excited for this next year of your life. I look forward to nurturing ever aspect of your personality and I promise to never suppress the characteristics God has given you. I love you son, with every ounce and fiber of my being.
Happy 1st birthday mi corazón, mi amor, mi mundo, mi regal precioso de Dios. Love, mom.



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