50 Shades of Deception, Guard Your Heart

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Dear Christian sister,

I know this will be controversial and there will be many to oppose what I am going to write. I want to start by putting an emphasis on who this is geared to, Christian women. I say this because if you don't believe in biblical purity than this won't even matter to you. I also want to start by saying I have not read 50 Shades of Grey nor will I see the movie. I have done tons of research, listened to many who have read it, and prayed to God about this. That being said, may I have a moment of your time.

This book is porn to you. I don't mean to be too straight forward but this is the truth. For most women, porn is not an issue. Do not be deceived to think this book and movie does not have the same affect on your mind because it does. That makes it the same sin as a man watching porn. This book is erotica let's look at the definition of both words.
pornography(noun)-printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings. synonyms: erotica, pornographic material, dirty books 
erotica(noun) literature or art intended to arouse sexual desire.
We can't really argue that erotica is much better than porn can we? In fact, erotica is a listed synonym for porn. We know that engaging in porn is sexual immorality, well so is erotica. Men are visual they see and respond. We women are emotional we want to feel in order to respond. Reading such graphic sexual content like this book causes you to respond. Your mind will begin to replay these things and you will grow a connection with the characters in a way that causes dissatisfaction with your spouse. A man constantly watching porn is less interested in sex with his wife, a woman reading this book will desire more than her husband can offer.  My christian sister, this is sin for you.

Another reason this book and movie is not for the Christian woman is it is a complete distortion of God's gifts, sex and submission. These are two things that God has created and are good. He made sex for husband and wife to enjoy and reproduce. This book makes sex vulgar, immoral, and abusive just like porn does. That displeases God and to support it displeases Him as well. The bible says those who are sexually immoral will not inherit the kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:19-21) God created sex to be an act in marriage which requires a husband and wife, erotica goes against that by provoking self stimulation. There are so many ways this opposes God's good and perfect will for sexuality.
 What about submission ladies? We are a generation of women who refuse to submit and try to take the position of authority. Why is it that the submissiveness of this women in the book intrigues you. The power that this man, Christian Grey, displays excited you. It is because the author succeeded at making something God created a twisted and perverse thing. Don't you realize you desire intimacy and to be led by your husband, and by God. The void you are trying to fill is the desire for God's design, to have a man who leads. A man who uses sex to display power through abuse is not going to fill that void. Honoring and respecting your husband will.

 I know many women are saying this is helping their sex life and I have even heard of husbands asking their wives to read it. Can you imagine your husband saying to you, "I found this wonderful porn site and I think it is going to help me have better sex with you." I'm pretty sure you would punch him in the face. Your husband does not want you comparing him to Christian Grey just like you don't want to be compared to a  porn star. This is the reality of this book/movie. It is giving you something to compare your husband to and he will never measure up to a fictional character just like you will never measure up to a porn star. Praise God! There is so much joy in sexual purity and in pursuing God's design for intimacy and oneness. Porn and erotica do not compare, not even a little. God's design is for us to respect our husbands and them to love us (Ephesians 5). That type of love and respect will lead to sexual satisfaction because God says so and that settles it. 

There is so much more I can say about this book and this movie but I am going to say really pray about this. Ask yourself if this will please God. I have seen porn and erotica destroy marriages in the Christian community and I am passionate about seeing this come to an end. Seek God with a humble and open heart on this issue before jumping to the conclusion that this is too extreme. Below are some links to messages from experts on the subject of sexuality and I would encourage you to listen. Let's be a generation of women who pursue purity and acknowledge sex is good in marriage and that alone. I love you sweet sister in Christ and I pray you guard your heart. 

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it determines the course of your life." Proverbs 4:23

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